Sometimes you feel “so so.” Sometimes you hear yourself described back to you in a song. Sometimes those things happen at the same time.
For the past several weeks, I’ve been revisiting albums that I haven’t fully listened to in awhile. One of them is Gary Go’s 2009 self-titled debut album, also known as Of Youth / Of Beauty. I purchased the album as a senior in high school when his music made its way across the pond with the catchy, uplifting single, “Wonderful.” The album gradually fell out of rotation in my library over the next few years, but after coming back to it, I can say that Of Youth / Of Beauty is a strong, timeless pop album that I expect to hold up for many more years.
“So So” is a song that I appreciate more with age and experience. As a teenager, feeling “so so” meant feeling bummed about having too much homework or having to write several scholarship essays to help with college expenses. A couple of years ago, I had a difficult “so so” period that was much closer to this song’s lyrics. I have a greater appreciation for Gary Go’s songwriting in “So So” because sadly – or perhaps fortunately – I’ve experienced some of these same feelings.
“When it’s too late to be late, I don’t show up at all. The gaps in my diary speak volumes about me.”
Man, oh man, can I relate to this.
“I’ve done something wrong. At least I’ve done something.”
Even today, I’d describe myself as feeling a bit “so so,” although a brighter, more optimistic “so so” that’s pretty far from the “so so” I felt a couple of years ago. It mainly results from my current job search, which brings an assortment of feelings throughout the process. While I’m generally not fond of conjuring up feelings from that time, sometimes I appreciate those reminders because they remind me of how far I’ve come, how much stronger I am now, and how drastically my perspective has changed.
“I’ve found I’m bound only to me.”
This was a key realization for me in overcoming the “so so” period. Part of the problem was that I needed to get out of my own way. Once I did, things improved.
I may owe Gary Go solid gold for this song.
“So So” has been added to the Tuesday Tunes Spotify playlist.